Just checking in with you.... how are you feeling? Not just physically (although I hope all of you are well and free of COVID-19!), but emotionally? Mentally?

We are in unprecedented times. Not one of us have lived though anything quite like this before. In a world where there is so much unknown we need to find a place where we can stop, take stock, and breathe.

Here's the thing.... a lot of you are confined to your home, all of a sudden having to stay home from work, needing to help your kids with schooling options, and keep yourself from going stir crazy at the same time!

It is times like these that we have been practicing self care! It is also times like these that we will need to rely on some more.... unconventional or creative self care techniques. Your usual "go-to" options are likely either not available or not a good idea... So what on Earth can you do instead??

I want us to collaborate and start a list together! What can you do, or are you doing, to remain calm and relaxed and take care of yourself right now? Let's be creative, and share our ideas!

But before we get started, I just want to say one more thing. This is a time where we need to model things for our children.  We need to model listening and following directions, being thoughtful but not reactive, and caring for ourselves and our loved one in positive ways. Show them how it's done! Encourage them to join in! Create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings without judgement and reassure them as much as you can.

Ok, here goes! I am going to start us off with a couple of suggestions. Please add to the list! I am excited to see what we come up with together!

1.) Turn up the radio! Play fun uplifting music. Sing along. Get up and dance! This could be PE for the kids!!

2.) If you are feeling stressed and anxious, practice mindful breathing. Stop what you are doing and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, hold it, slowly exhale and pause. You can do this counting to certain numbers for each step, or just what feels good to you. The idea is to slow your breathing and pay attention to your body as you inhale and exhale. As you inhale think about breathing good things in, and as you exhale think about letting the bad things out.

3.) Read a book aloud with each other. Maybe it is something "school appropriate", or maybe it is a favorite childhood book. It doesn't matter! Decide together if one person will read or if you will take turns reading.

Blessings,
Kara

An Example of Self-Care in Progress

I woke up this morning and realized that I have been obsessing about my weight, specifically about what the scale says. Now don't get me wrong, my weight is definitely something I should be concerned about, but I realized that I was actually obsessing and it bothered me. I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole. I know that it is a slippery slope.

I tell you this because I want to share how useful self-care techniques can be.

I talked to God about it a little bit, and then decided to journal. I wanted to see if I could figure out how to put it in perspective. I started out just writing the things that I knew. How I was feeling and what I was doing. But as I wrote, I started to realize some new things. I realized that my obsession with what the scale is telling me is really just a manifestation of what is really bothering me.

Interestingly, obsessing about my weight and the scale felt less scary then what is really on my mind. It felt like something I could have some control over. It felt less vulnerable.

Now that I know what is really worrying me, I can do something to address the real issue. If I just carried on believing it was my weight and focusing on that, I would never solve the real problem and it would never get better.

What is the real issue underneath your feelings?

Blessings,
Kara

Our job as parents

Being a parent is a big job. Our kids need us to take care of their ever changing needs. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day business of parenting. We feed them, set boundaries, chauffeur them to all of their activities, we make sure they do their homework and get them to bed.

They need us to do these things. But in the busyness of our lives I think we sometimes forget that there is so much more to being a parent.

We also need to teach them about being kind to others. We need to teach them that they are never alone. That they are loved unconditionally. We need to give them words for their feelings, and ways to deal with them. We need to be a sounding board for them, so they can tell us all the things that are going on in their lives and help them make sense of it.

We need to meet them where they are and help them along the path to adulthood. Sometimes they need us to hold their hands and walk with them, but other times they need us to give them some guidance and let them go.

When we are parenting kids with mental health issues, these things are even more important. They are experiencing so much, and in extreme measures. The more they understand emotions, the more coping skills they have, and the more they know they are not alone, the better able they will be to manage their lives. If we can teach them this, as well as model it for them, we are on the right track!

Blessings,
Kara