Get to know me!
(Excerpts from an Interview with Life Coach Magazine)
I grew
up with parents who are therapists. Just take that in for a moment… As you
might imagine, my worldview was shaped by strong communication skills, the
ability to recognize and express emotions and feel free to talk about feelings
and be vulnerable. It wasn’t until I was well into adulthood that I realized
that my life was not the norm.
When I
was young, I always wanted to be a teacher. In college, I flip-flopped between
psychology and education, trying to find where the two met, but never really
figuring that out. When I first learned about coaching many years later, it was
like an epiphany for me! This, THIS, is where those two worlds met! And I got
to include my love of listening, validating, and encouraging others. I was so
excited! I felt FREE! It took a long time from that first epiphany until I
shifted all my focus into coaching, but I learned so much along the way.
I have
started my coaching business two different times. After the first time didn’t
“take,” it was clear to me that it was not the right time for it… my time and
attention were needed elsewhere (more on that later). When I started my
business again the second time, it was clear that the time was right. I sent
letters to friends and acquaintances, letting them know about it and asking
them to share with people they know. That is how I got my first client! She was
a referral from a high school friend I had recently reconnected with thanks to
that letter!
Q.) What are some of your favorite mantras, thoughts, and/or journal
prompts?
There
is always, always, always something to be thankful for!
I went
on a weekend getaway with my best friend to a small northern Minnesota town in
late February. We ate breakfast at this quaint little cafe where they had all
kinds of sayings and cute pictures on the walls. One of them that was right at
our booth said, “There is always, always, always something to be thankful for”.
I took a picture of my best friend sitting under that sign and have been using
it as my mantra ever since! Every day I post something I am thankful for and
share it with my Instagram and Facebook communities. Particularly in this new
COVID world, I always want to be a source for positivity and encourage others
to find joy in everything!
Q.) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused or have lost your focus
temporarily, what do you do?
When I
find myself getting overwhelmed or losing focus, I stop for a minute, take
stock, and figure out if something is going on in my life that is making me
feel out of control. I know myself well enough to know that I tend to get
paralyzed when I feel out of control… It’s like I believe that if I just stop
moving, life will stop going on around me too! Once I realize what is
happening, I jump right into using the self-care techniques that I talk about
with my clients.
Sometimes,
the basics will be enough to break free - like talking aloud to either myself
or God - or journaling about what is happening. Journaling works best when I am
not sure what the issue is because it tends to lead me to the source. Once I
have figured out the cause of the feeling, I can address it. Sometimes it just
requires paying attention to some detail, but other times (more often than I
would like!), there is something in the past or an old feeling that needs to be
processed and dealt with so I can continue to move forward. If that is the
case, I usually end up talking to someone - a friend or family member - and
engaging in pampering.
Q.) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
I first
started my coaching business back in 2009. I was eager and enthusiastic… but
not well prepared. I bought a bunch of books, took a coaching class, built a
website, etc. But I had no idea how to run a business or market myself. Of
course, I was woefully ignorant of that fact! I worked hard for about a year
and a half until the money I had set aside was used up. Then I needed to get a
“real” job again.
I went
back to work in IT, where all of my professional experience had been. The week
my benefits kicked in, my daughter had her first of many hospitalizations due
to mental health issues. I spent the next seven years navigating an unknown
world, trying my best to help her and losing myself in the process. I lacked
support and did not know how to find the resources to get help - much less even
think about taking care of myself during that time!
Now my
daughter is living on her own, and my husband and I are empty nested. I have found
a group of like-minded women who meet once a week on Mondays, for the support I
lacked in my life for so long. It is FINALLY time, once again, to focus on me
and my dreams! What I learned in the ten years since I first started my
coaching business is invaluable! I have a clear understanding of who I want to
coach, and why, and I know myself better than I ever have! There is nothing,
NOTHING, that can replace life experience in this world!
Q.) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most
improved your life?
I
matter!
It sounds silly, I know, but my journey to where I am now left me empty
and forgetting the fact that I need, and deserve, to count my feelings and
needs when making decisions and managing my life. It is this new knowledge…
belief… that led me to restart my business. Now, I am a living success story
for the value of my coaching! I practice what I preach every day!
Q.) If you could have a huge billboard anywhere with anything on it —
metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what
would it say?
You
have a choice! You might not get to choose your circumstances, but you can
always choose how you react, respond, and your attitude. Choose wisely!
If you are interested, here is the link to the entire article (https://www.lifecoachmagazine.com/kara-phillips-featured-coach/)
