We are all human. Even those of us with more challenging circumstances. Allow yourself to make mistakes, learn from them and move on.
More often than we'd like, we find ourselves losing our patience with our children. We snap, or yell, or punish when we know what they need is compassion and understanding. It's just not always that easy. And because we are just so exhausted it is easy to get down on ourselves. We tell ourselves that we are bad parents, or they would be better off if someone else was their mom or dad.
Be kind to yourself. Instead of all the negative self talk we are all prone to, treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. If your friend was explaining a situation to you like the one you just had, you would tell them it's ok.... they are not a bad parent... everyone loses it from time to time and to forgive themselves. So listen to your own advice. Be the friend that you need for yourself. And if you need to, apologize to your child. Letting your child know you are human will go a long way in your relationship with them.
Blessings,
Kara
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
Extrovert or introvert?
When you are feeling depleted, what do you do?
Some people are extroverts and when they find themselves empty and exhausted they go out with friends or go do something where there are a lot of people. All of the energy around them helps fill them back up.
Others are introverts. When they feel empty and exhausted they may take a bath or curl up with a good book. Being alone is how they get filled back up.
It is important to know what works for you. At the end of a long day are you ready to go out for drinks with friends, or curl up in your jammies at home?
Whatever works for you, make a note of it. Then brainstorm a little bit and come up with a list of things that could help you get filled up when you are empty.
Write this list out. Put it somewhere where you can see it. When you find yourself depleted you have a ready-made list of ideas to help you get back without having to spend the energy to try to figure out what you need.
Blessings,
Kara
Some people are extroverts and when they find themselves empty and exhausted they go out with friends or go do something where there are a lot of people. All of the energy around them helps fill them back up.
Others are introverts. When they feel empty and exhausted they may take a bath or curl up with a good book. Being alone is how they get filled back up.
It is important to know what works for you. At the end of a long day are you ready to go out for drinks with friends, or curl up in your jammies at home?
Whatever works for you, make a note of it. Then brainstorm a little bit and come up with a list of things that could help you get filled up when you are empty.
Write this list out. Put it somewhere where you can see it. When you find yourself depleted you have a ready-made list of ideas to help you get back without having to spend the energy to try to figure out what you need.
Blessings,
Kara
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Self-care is a win-win!
Hello everyone, and Happy Spring! May the 4th be with you! Ha!
When I started Living Rhythm and Joy 10 years ago I had a Christian focus. I wanted to help people discover their passion and purpose in life. I still love when I am able to do that. But during the past 10 years I found a subset of the population that could really use some coaching around self-care. I found it because I belonged to it... parents of children with mental illness. Its a hard road. And its exhausting. We want to help our children. All we want is for them to be happy and care-free. And every day is a new battle.
You know how when you are flying somewhere and before the airplane takes off they do the "safety dance" where they tell you how to buckle your seat belt, where the emergency exits are and about the oxygen masks etc.? They always tell you to be sure to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help your child or anyone else. Have you ever wondered why? It is because you won't be able to help others if you don't help yourself first. You need to make sure that you are able to breathe in order to help others.
Parenting children with mental illness is like that. You NEED to take care of yourself and make sure that you can BREATHE if you are going to be able to help your child. While is seems easiest to put ourselves on the back burner because our children are in crisis, we won't be able to be there for them if we are completely depleted. This is why self-care is so important. Not only are you taking care of yourself, but you filling yourself up so you can be there for your child. Its a win-win.
Blessings to you,
Kara
When I started Living Rhythm and Joy 10 years ago I had a Christian focus. I wanted to help people discover their passion and purpose in life. I still love when I am able to do that. But during the past 10 years I found a subset of the population that could really use some coaching around self-care. I found it because I belonged to it... parents of children with mental illness. Its a hard road. And its exhausting. We want to help our children. All we want is for them to be happy and care-free. And every day is a new battle.
You know how when you are flying somewhere and before the airplane takes off they do the "safety dance" where they tell you how to buckle your seat belt, where the emergency exits are and about the oxygen masks etc.? They always tell you to be sure to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help your child or anyone else. Have you ever wondered why? It is because you won't be able to help others if you don't help yourself first. You need to make sure that you are able to breathe in order to help others.
Parenting children with mental illness is like that. You NEED to take care of yourself and make sure that you can BREATHE if you are going to be able to help your child. While is seems easiest to put ourselves on the back burner because our children are in crisis, we won't be able to be there for them if we are completely depleted. This is why self-care is so important. Not only are you taking care of yourself, but you filling yourself up so you can be there for your child. Its a win-win.
Blessings to you,
Kara
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