Respect

Part of taking care of yourself is to respect yourself. There are so many ways to honor and respect yourself. Here are some ideas to get you started!

R - read a good book, rest, find resources for yourself

E - exercise, encourage others, explore something new

S - sing, sleep, simplify your life, be silent and listen, support your needs

P - pray, pamper yourself, be present, have patience, pay attention, prioritize

E - name your emotions, eat healthy

C - cry, call a friend, communicate, make a commitment to yourself

T - trust your instincts, find your truth, treat yourself, talk to friend, take time for yourself

Far from perfect

I am not perfect. I made a lot of mistakes as a parent. I lost my temper. I said “no” for the wrong reasons. I said “yes” for the wrong reasons. A lot of times I did this because I wanted to maintain the peace, any amount of peace, at all cost.

Sometimes I said the wrong thing altogether. Other times I just wanted to give up...more times than I would care to admit in fact. I wasn’t sure I could do it. I felt like a failure.

But do you know what? Every day I would wake up and it was a new day. Miraculously I would have a little more strength to start over, and either move on or try to make up for the mistakes from the day before.

All you can do is start where you are. Where you are right now is a good starting place. You have within you the lessons you have learned along the way. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. And no 2 kids are the same. We have to figure it out as we go.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” - Maya Angelou

Clear your head

Do you find yourself lying awake at night as everything that happened throughout the day swirls around in your head? And then you get up the next morning and you already feel stressed? I used to not even notice how stressed I was, and how I was clenching my muscles all of the time trying to "hold myself together". There is a certain amount of that "muscle clenching" and "swirling" that just comes with the territory of raising kids - any kids, not to mention kids with special needs or mental illness.

But there are things that you can do to help clear your head. Sometimes just talking to a friend or another loved one helps to get all of the "stuff" out. It is great when that works out! Sometimes we don't have someone to share (read: vent) with, or sharing with others just makes everything feel MORE stressful. Let's face it, if our friends or loved ones are not living with the same sorts of issues that we are, they won't fully understand. And often, in their kind-hearted effort to understand and be supportive, they end up making us feel worse.

If this is the case for you, or even if it is not, try writing your thoughts and feelings down. Create a journal, either with a notebook, or fancy bound journal, or even just a file on your computer or phone. Make sure that you keep it private.

Write down EVERYTHING. Write down the events of the day, good and bad and neutral. Write down the thoughts or worries that are going through your mind. Write down your frustrations. Make a note of your successes! Doodle. Write poetry, or draw pictures. Write it in ALL CAPS or in small careful letters. Write down things you are afraid to say out loud. Write out how you wish things were. Let everything out. It is so cathartic!

Blessing,
Kara